Trump Leases White House Lawn for Tire Fire Site Featured

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Washington D.C. - President Trump enacted an executive order today, leasing the White House lawn for 20 years to a Virginia disposal company to be used as a tire burning facility. The President had originally tried overturning Obama era EPA regulations barring open burning of tires, but this had been passed with legislation and could not be overturned by executive order. The administration was able to exploit a loophole that allows the current President full autonomy over the White House and its grounds.

White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, told the press corps, “This is all part of the President’s plan to make America great again by systematically undoing anything Obama did during his tenure. This one was a bit of a sticky wicket, but with some creativity and hard work, the administration was able to reverse Obama’s rule, even if it’s mostly symbolic.”

The toxic black smoke that is now engulfing the White House grounds has already had an effect on tourism in the area. George Trailman of the National Parks Service reported, “Tourism in the area is already down by 50%. Tourists are concerned for their safety in the vicinity of the White House. Scientists have estimated that a visit to the White House is now the equivalent of smoking 200 packs of cigarettes in one day.”

Jethro Whitrush, a Trump support and tourist sporting a red “MAGA” hat said, “When I see that beautiful black smoke, I see jobs! Trump is a businessman, he sees opportunities where these dopey libtards see nothing but wasted space.”

The new disposal facility will support 4 full-time jobs. It’s estimated that even if the facility is removed at the expiration of the 20 year lease, the grounds will remain unsuitable for human habitation for at least 10,000 years.

Last modified on 12-14-2017