POLITICS

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After scrambling to find people willing to speak at the GOP Convention in Cleveland, the Trump campaign today released a list of scheduled speakers. Trump tweeted, "I think everyone will be quite amazed at the really great lineup I've put together for the convention #bringcheckbook." 

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Cleveland is planning to pollute and set on fire the Cuyahoga River to coincide with the Republican National Convention in July. The polluting and subsequent igniting of the river will be used to celebrate and symbolize the GOP’s determination to eliminate the EPA (or as Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump calls it, “The Department of Environment.”)

Earlier this week, Cleveland’s Department of Public Works started dumping toxic sludge and oil into the river. Department head, Ernesto Juarez estimated that it would take several months of intensive dumping to have the river to flammable level by the time of the convention.

02-18-2016

MSNBC's 'Morning Joe' to be Rebranded as 'Morning Trump'

Written by Dan Raymo

NEW YORK — MSNBC today announced that they will rebranding their popular morning show, "morning joe", to "morning trump". Vice-president of programming, Arnold Putz said, "The new name will more accurately represent to our viewers the content of the show. The show's format will more or less stay the same — 100% coverage of Donald Trump — only now, Mika will be gagged to prevent her from blurting out stuff about that old jewish guy. What's his name? Flanders?"

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