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Marco Rubio Agrees to Deport Himself if Elected

Written by  |  11-05-2015  |  Published in POLITICS
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In an attempt to appeal to the far right, Marco Rubio’s stance on immigration has evolved once again. While campaigning at St. Anselm College in New Hampshire, Rubio hinted that he would be open to deporting ‘dreamers’.

When questioned further by reporters about why he would be against a path to citizenship considering that both his parents were immigrants, he doubled-down stating, “Even though my parents are US citizens, I wouldn’t be against deporting them as well, really I think anyone caught speaking Spanish should be deported. If you’re going to be in the US, you should speak our language -- English. Asked if that policy wouldn’t also affect him, Rubio said, “I guess so, if I’m elected, I’ll have myself deported immediately.”

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  1. Build a fort with the couch cushions.

  2. Scrapbook with his mom.

  3. Binge watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Supergirl.

  4. Paint a better picture of himself taking a bath than the one by his stupid  brother George.

  5. Work on his "Veto Corleone" impression.

  6. Build a Donald Trump piñata.

  7. Finally finish the first Harry Potter book.

  8. Have a sleepover at Mom and Dad’s house.

  9. Find out what this Facebook is all about.

  10. Make prank calls to Trump Towers.

 

 

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With public outrage growing over the Benghazi committee, which has gone on longer than the Watergate committee and has cost taxpayers in excess of $5 million, and has now been exposed by House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) as simply a scheme to politically ruin Hillary Clinton, GOP leaders are forming a new committee to decide on the focus for a post-Benghazi committee.


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